Save money on Internet,
Mobile, and Electricity Services!
Check Out : kibbs.acnshop.eu
DON’T FORGET TO READ CHAPTER 11 :
11. Best Breakup Ever : Don’t Argue
12. Scattered Thought Written : January 23rd, 2019
Love Listens
“Here’s another thing, ‘What do you want to be?’. I don’t want to be anything. I am. I am everything I want to be. I am already there.”
– Conor McGregor
“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.”
– Mark Nepot
You are love. Love listens.
Thank you very much for reading. Above you will find my independent business venture and below you can find a link to my books on Kindle …
Okay, maybe I should say a bit more about this. However, the two sentences above really do summarize the main idea of this post.
You are love. Love listens.
Towards the end of my previous relationship, I learned what it means to really listen. It is actually really difficult. To truly listen to someone is to have what Tara Brach calls an “undefended heart”. Growing up, I learned how to be guarded, rational, and in control. I was good at putting on a mask and hiding how I truly felt. I didn’t want to get hurt.
Sometimes love hurts.
At twenty-eight, I now have a different perspective. I now allow myself to feel hurt. I am now able to let down my guard and listen to how I unintentionally hurt a loved one. In an interview with The New York Times, Jay Z states, “The best place is right in the middle of the pain… The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused, and then having to deal with yourself. Most people don’t want to do that. You don’t want to look inside yourself. So, you walk away.”
As I journey through recovery and explore love in all of its forms, I am reminded of the conversation I had with my friend Behram. Behram is one of my closest friends in Berlin and he and I had a podcast where we discussed the question, “What is love?” I will post the Soundcloud link below, but the conclusion that we came to was simple : We are love. I also wrote a “Midnight Poem” (Instagram : HumanityinPoetry) below that distills the main perspectives of our conversation.
So, why are we so afraid of love? One reason is because we are afraid of embracing all of the feelings that come with love. We are afraid of embracing the hurt, afraid of unpacking our own insecurities, and afraid of truly being seen by someone else, because we may not feel like we measure up. If you are reading this, I just want to tell you that you are worth loving. However, if it is too much for you to fall in love with another person at the moment, practice falling in love with music, art, nature etc. On my Instagram page, I am also running for the 2020 Presidency and I posted the introduction to my campaign speech.
Let down your guard and listen to those who are close to you. Being willing to change your perspective does not make you “wrong”. It is actually a sign of maturity and open-mindedness. Allow yourself to be hurt. Yes, you read that correctly. Allow yourself to be hurt. Once you can compassionately, and non-judgementally, embrace the experience of unintentionally hurting someone you love, you will then ask the questions that will allow you to move forward, and be better in the future. Questions such as; why do I respond this way when I feel hurt? Am I reacting to this new experience with tools that I acquired from past pains? Are my reactions helping or hurting this relationship? How can I respond more compassionately?
Again, I would like to stress that this is a journey. At times, you have to allow yourself to listen, then see a part of yourself, that you are not proud of. Embrace the experience. In the end, it will help you become a better person.
Here are a few guidelines that may help you in your intimate relationships as you listen and resolve conflict :
- Don’t compare each other
- Start with a blank page
- Find where you can take responsibility in the issue
- Address the issue and hurt feelings as soon as possible
Once you are able to see and embrace every part of yourself, you will then be able to guide others through difficulty as well. I’ll leave you with a poem from my book, Love in India, titled, “Sit With Me”. Remember, fall in love everyday.
Link to Podcast : What is Love
Sit With Me
Just sit with me
And please don’t say a word
I’ve heard it all
Let time stall
Take time to sit in my world
I know you’re well intentioned
And you think you know what’s best
You have great ideals
But forgot how to feel
It’s best if you decide to say less
Just listen….
– K.S. Fort
From, “Love in India”
Note : This book is still a work in progress. It will be available on Kindle in about four or five months. I will post different sections periodically, but for the most part, the book in its entirety will be made available later this year. However …
While you’re here …
Feel free to download a free PDF of my 48 page memoir, “Two Weeks to Dream”. It details my journey traveling through Amsterdam and Brussels and uncovering my perfect-self.
humanityinpoetry 